Finally Someone Understands

This week has been a struggle, especially this weekend. I binge ate and purged 3 times this weekend and I just binge ate again, just not that much. I would normally purge but i’m really trying to stop.

I would say the weekend is the hardest time for me and it is for binge eating. But the days I’m at school are the days I skip lunch. All the people at school, those girls, they’re so skinny. I wish I was that skinny. I keep on gaining weight, probably from all of the binge eating I have been doing.

I’ve been doing a project about the increase of eating disorders in China due to modernization. It’s surprising how people view anorexia vs. bulimia. Bulimia has much worse of a connotation. It’s not that I can control myself. I just keep on eating and eating and don’t know when to stop/ don’t want to stop, but the I feel so guilty. In addition, I feel like I finally have control when I throw up.

I found this article while researching and I finally feel like someone understands.

The “Double Life” of Bulimia Nervosa: Patients’ Perspectives

Maybe it will help other. Hopefully it will help me get through this week.

-V

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